Thanks to Misty and Miss Prissy I am reading again in I don’t know how many years.
How long have I had the internet?
So girls, when is the done date?
Brought to you by my beloved Blackberry. 
July 8th, 2008
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I have walked past these tiny garden mushrooms for the last 3 summers at Lowe’s, and today, I finally decided to throw 2 of them into my cart. They are made of glass and ceramic and they make me smile every time I look at them. I stuck them in the ficus by my sliding glass door.
I am simply giddy over these shrooms!
Now, I need a new gnome. My last one got eaten by the sun. No! Maybe what I really need is a pink flamingo. ONG! Yes, I so need a flamingo!
I woke up this morning, and instead of showering and tackling laundry, I threw on clothes, sunscreen and grabbed my hedge trimmers. I spent 8 hours earning blisters and aches and pains. I’m still out here, only now I am laying on a lounge chair with a margarita.
While I was collecting dirt underneath my nails, Mr. X made progress in the garage. Today was the day that he climbed up into the racks and took down all the hockey gear. Helmets, pads, sticks, skates, jerseys and Stretch’s hunkin’ goalie bag. Snoop helped him load everything into the back of his truck and then drove his Dad down to a used sports equipment store, so they could donate it all.
The memories of my children skating and all of our family time at the rink were made even more intense by the smell of hockey. OMG, that smell! I still love it! It really was bittersweet - to think that those days are over and instead of spending tons of money, our weekends at tournaments and on the road, we are able to finally stay home and get things done around the house.
I should be totally happy, right? Gulp.
Between summer school and the kids’ activities, I feel as if I having been living in my car. Squirrel blew it in English last year and now has to be in class Mon - Thursday at 7:30am and has to be picked up at 1:30pm and as soon as I get him home, I have to turn around and take him and Stretch to do whatever they want to do. Whether it’s the water park, a friend’s house, the movies or the cyber cafe - all I do is drive!
Which is why today was so nice. Mr. X and I got to sleep in late and enjoy a nice, leisurely lunch at Chipotle. Then, it was back home for the hanging of the perfect chandelier.
This thing weighed a ton. It’s hard to tell from the pictures, but this baby is big and beefy! While Mr. X was holding it from the top via a ladder, I was underneath pushing it upwards. It took everything I had. I am so weak and have zero upper body strength. 
This light replaced the one that we had purchased 5 years ago. As time went by, it became uglier and uglier. The finish on it had faded to a putrid pink color; it appeared as if someone had vomited a huge ass bottle of Boone’s Farm Strawberry Hill all over it. As I was carrying it out to the garage Mr. X asked, “Why the hell did we buy that thing?” I shrugged and answered, “It must’ve been late at night and we probably had all 3 kids with us.”
‘Nuff said.
Anyway, this is it; the holy grail of dining room chandeliers. It will hang until the day I die. Now, to get rid of the oak hutch and replace it with a massive buffet. You know how it is, one thing always leads to another.
I am a mother of 3 boys, so I am used to reptiles. We have been through Spike the Bearded Dragon, Kiwi the Chameleon and the nameless geckos that escaped from their aquariums and made their homes in the boys’ hockey bags. We have had it all!
Well, except for snakes.
Late Wednesday night, I was laying in bed watching the addiction in itself, Intervention, when I got a MMS on my Blackberry from Snoop.
Look what I bought.
Josh and his friend Brandon got their own apartment a few months ago and Snoop (yes, he’s still friends with him) spotted them some money to get “a pet”. Of course, I had oh-so bad feelings about the WHOLE thing, but had to take deep breaths and try to let them go. Snoop is 18 now, working full-time, and well, yeah - whatever.
Yesterday, I called my son after work to ask if he was coming straight home because I needed to discuss a few things with him (the new no cellphone while driving law and a college counselor appt.).
“Hey you, coming home?”
“OMG, no. We are on our way to Reptropolis.”
“What?! Oh, God….food, you’re gonna feed it aren’t you?”
“No! We already did, late last night. A rat and I couldn’t do it, so Josh threw it in the cage. All afternoon it had been awesome, letting us hold it etc…and then it ate. Mom, it was so loud, it squeezed the rat and you could hear all the bones breaking. OMG. And then it dislocated it’s jaw and swallowed the thing whole. Then….THEN its’ personality totally changed!”
“Snoop, seriously, what are you saying?”
“Mom, it tried to bite my arm, so we put it Brandon’s room and when he came home from work and opened the door, it went into a full “cobra stance”!
Snoop told me, they all sat out in the living room for an hour trying to come up with a plan and, oh how I would’ve killed to be a fly on that wall! Finally, Snoop threw open the door and got the snake by the end (its’ tail?) and pulled it out to where the guys were sitting. Problem was, half of the snake was still in Brandon’s room.
The snake was 15ft. long!
“It’s in the back of the car in a duct taped box. We’re returning it.”
Part of me wanted to freak out and the other part wanted to burst into laughter. Okay, maybe just a small part.
Is this what they mean by “letting your children learn from their mistakes”?
O is sportin’ the Star Jones look this month.
Brought to you by my beloved Blackberry.
Summer hit Southern California with a vengeance last week. We had temps over 100 degrees for 5 days. We were scheduled to have our patio cover, our garage doors and our front doors painted during the heat spell.
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The afternoon before the painters were to arrive, Mr. X, Snoop and Darrin climbed up to reinforce some slats and about died from sun poisoning. The sun sets to the back of our house, so you can imagine how miserable they were. It was so hot, that the glue the construction company used, over 4 years ago, was starting to melt over the beams.
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Along with sweaty asses, the heat also brought ants and power shortages. On Saturday, we were having a pool party. The vibe was good, the scene was happening, then all of a sudden, Steve Perry’s voice stopped short on “Street light peeeeooo…” We never heard the “pleeee”.
It felt like we were in a season of Big Brother. Hot day, no music and a pool. We floated around on rafts and noodles and played word association and sang songs. Then, we gathered for a game of Trivial Pursuit and the girls, of course, were kicking butt so, the guys decided to that we should head elsewhere to watch UFC.
Sure, we all bonded and got to know each other a little better, but one thing I learned about myself is that I am totally and utterly addicted to music and the internet and I could never ever live during the The Little House in the Prairie days.
Going on 5th hour without power, so what else were we supposed to do?
Next up, a Trivial Pursuit 80s, 90s and Pop Culture Marathon. We are all getting in some serious bonding time.
Brought to you by my beloved Blackberry.
On July 16th, 1989, Mr. X and I attended an engagement party for my boss at a hotel near the South Coast Plaza. It also happened to be our 1 year anniversary, so we decided to get a room there and stay the night. Sometime around 10:00pm, we ran up, so I could grab my camera.
Mr. X had his back to me. He was checking out the mini bar, while I sat on the bed digging through my bag. Suddenly, I blurted out, “Let’s have a baby!”
Now, to me, that meant that I was ready to start a family with the man that I loved. To my husband, that meant HOLY SHIT! I’m gonna get laid! Needless to say, he was all for it.
An hour and a half later, we headed back down to the bar to rejoin the party and little did I really know, I had just gotten pregnant. 9 months later Snoop was born.
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I don’t know where the last 18 and a half years have gone, but somehow, Snoop grew up and graduated from high school. The ceremony was an awesome one; a totally emotional one! Mr. X’s voice must’ve cracked 5 times that night. It got to all of us. My little Squirrel even choked up a little.
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Afterwards, Outback Steakhouse catered dinner and then, the Class of 2008 boarded buses to Grad Night. Snoop was hesitant about going because for the last 2 years, it had been held somewhere “lame”. But I was glad to see him go, because I knew that he’d be safe for the night. Know what I’m sayin’?
It was held at one of those big miniature golf/go kart/arcade fun parks, so it was kinda “lame”, but my son was “stoked” that they opened up the bowling alley. He loves to bowl (he owns his own shoes and ball and has been begging me to join a team with him), so he “tore up the lanes” that night. Listen, better the lanes than the parties and the roads.
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Today at work, they threw him a surprise BBQ and got him a cake. Sunday night, we will be celebrating with family.
During the days of sleep deprivation and racked nerves, I still can’t believe that there were times when I wished my children would hurry and grow up already.
Stretch: "Hey, that's Jenny Craig." 
